Hi,
It sounds to me like your scenario is a good fit for workflow. If you have a taken an object-oriented approach in your development (using BOR objects or classes), it will be relatively easy to create a workflow that will slot into your development.
Object events are used to control the starting (or stopping) of workflow; object methods are used in workflow steps, and object attributes are used in workitem texts (and to control the flow).
The issues that you are encountering (that everyone encounters!) have been solved by workflow. It is a very powerful tool.
You might want to post specific questions to the SAP Business Workflow space.
cheers
Paul